i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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