I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
