It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Randomize