Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
