Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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