how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
