Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
