WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
