i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
50% drunk capacity currently
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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