i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize