He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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