I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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