3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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