Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
