we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
