Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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