so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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