i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
50% drunk capacity currently
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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