What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
