I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I CAN MOONWALK!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
