margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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