I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
