It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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