He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
