I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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