Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Still dying that you shit outside
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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