I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize