Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
