i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
