If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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