I accidentally had phone sex last night
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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