we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I want to be your penis for a week.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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