He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
