Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
