My brain says no but my pants say off.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
