i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
