his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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