It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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