The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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