I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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