Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
