my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
