Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
