Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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