when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
