i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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