question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Slut skills are useful in every country.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
