I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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