READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
