oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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