so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
