So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
