I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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