Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
