Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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