what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
