in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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