You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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