Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize