just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
