so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
