I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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